Tag: Family dynamics

False Memories (Part 2)

Part 1
Part 3
Part 4

DISCLAIMER: the events and the characters mentioned in this story are the product of the author’s imagination

And all of a sudden, the alarm went off. I was so astonished I sat up straight in an instant, looking around with incredulity: I was home! Could it all have been just a vivid nightmare then? Somehow, I seriously doubted that. I didn’t remember going to sleep; quite the opposite, I could perfectly recall every bitter detail of yesterday’s quarrel. I sneezed – exactly. I also had no doubts that I was drenched by rain while parading the night streets in shorts and unzipped. Still, I was in my bed, in pajamas, my yesterday’s clothes hanging on the chairs’ back. 

In addition to all that, I got a splitting headache. The light – even this murky tender morning light which happens only right before dawn – seemed to be dazzling. I was completely disoriented. I stood up with a moan, and the whole world became blurred and shaky. Besides, my feet were still in pain. I sat down again.

The light was a problem here; I knew that it somehow affected the way I feel, so I decided to pull down the curtains and think. My eyesight was distorted; I couldn’t look directly at any object: my headache immediately returned magnified one thousand times. So I closed my eyes and started retracing yesterday’s walk, or rather my escape from home. 

First and foremost – we quarreled. Two adult sisters living together is… hm, a challenging task. If only we had enough money and the place we could go we’d leave each other immediately. But as for now, we had neither choice, nor sources. 

We were so different: She and I. Martha was brave and charismatic, always the center of attention. The awareness of that made Her addicted to the admiration of the crowd. My Sister spent all Her time on social media, impressing the public with retouched selfies and generated quotes, forgetting that these were fabricated lies that had little to do with her real self.

Continue reading “False Memories (Part 2)” →
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False Memories (Part 1)

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

DISCLAIMER: the events and the characters mentioned in this story are the product of the author’s imagination

I guess it all began the moment I slammed the door loudly, causing the tiny rivers and streams of stone dust and chalk to run down onto the floor. I quickly scrutinized the tiny crevices and cracks around the doorframe – eternal remnants of my mood swings and our bitter quarrels… I ran down the steps diving into the silver moonlight that stole all the colors of this world except for black and white… 

I could discern the catlike silhouettes in the silver slits of windows. All the voices from different flats were mixed and united in one preaching chorus, and all the graffities and scribbles that casually adorned the staircase during the day now were turned into magical patterns and figures. Like cavemen, we continue on and on to mark our achievements, wishes and feelings, etching them deep into the wall.

The entrance door swung open, welcoming the wet, damp wind to fill the darkness. A few rare cool drops of rain fell on my face, mingling and mixing with tears, calming me, reviving and suddenly filling everything with a sense of hope again. I went out, looking up at the sky and breathing deeply, trying to regain composure. My jacket was unzipped carelessly, my strides were long and bold… It was an attempt to become one with the wind, one with the coming storm, to cast off all formalities, reject the laws of physics, and fly over the earth in elemental fury.

A burning array of yellow windows was outlined brightly against the gray carcasses of the buildings, almost indiscernible in the surrounding darkness… I wish I could say the same about the drunken crowd of people, who were shouting and cursing loudly, while checking out the surroundings with an immense hunger for destruction. So I halted for a moment, praying to become invisible. 

Continue reading “False Memories (Part 1)” →
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Shadow Path (part 1)

Parts:
1st part;
2nd part;
3d part;
4th part;
5th part

*Anima: soul (the meaning which was chosen by me for this story)

**Leo: (in astrology) the sign where the Sun is domiciled (Sun is the ruler there and it is strong). Leo and the Sun stand for the Ego and can symbolize utter selfishness at the low level of self-development (primitiveness).

‘To sleep, to dream, to dive into the depth of the endless ocean which hides millions of barely existing realities on the brim of your imagination. When you fall asleep, the warmth and softness surround you, lulling and carrying you to the void, to the darkest darkness where you do not exist anymore, where you feel pain no more, and where you are unified with the Universe. And then you find yourself diving into the utmost depth of the boundless ocean, where you become whole, accepted, and never alone. You sway in its waters and get carried away by its currents to all existing memories, hopes, causes, outcomes, futures, pasts, presents –  all possible variations of time. You can choose your favorite one… Why does anyone even want to wake up?

Sure, there are nightmares, but reality is also full of them, isn’t it? There are dark sides in every possible representation of infinity; otherwise nothing could be compound, complicated and mysterious, definitely not as intriguingly contrastive as any crowd would like. Though, in comparison with reality, our dreams are more subtle. Everything moves and shifts its shape like a fog, or like a cloud: now you see a forest, and than it turns out to be a castle, and later perhaps a ship, or isn’t it the old man’s bald head? Strange. But so vague, dynamic and playful. You can discover all the answers and the hints in your dreams; all kinds of knowledge: spiritual, psychological, or occult. Everything may reveal itself before you when you are open and sensitive enough – I am. I love to sleep. I live to sleep. I’d die…’

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