“Planet of Exile” by Ursula K. Le Guin – My Review

Hi Everyone 🙂

Another Monday is here, and I’m sharing another literary review made especially for you 🙂

And once again, it is about the sci-fi genre, which I enjoy reading so much. This time I’ve picked Planet of Exile by Ursula K. Le Guin for reading. It is quite a short novel; however, the author managed to fill it with engaging, immersive, and picturesque descriptions and touched upon numerous anthropological, cultural, philosophical, and racial awareness subjects.

Photo Credit: Richard Jensen, from here

Ursula Le Guin (1929-2018) is a well-known American novelist. She is most famous for her sci-fi prose, especially A Wizard of Earthsea (1968), but she also did translations, wrote poetry, published short story collections, and even several books for children. Her father was an anthropologist, so she incorporated lots of knowledge on this point in her novels. And her mother was a writer, so U. Le Guin inherited her talent. She began her career in the 60s and was one of the first authors to emphasize the importance of female protagonists in sci-fi, which back then was typically male-centered. She also showed a lot of stubbornness and dedication as a writer, trying to get published, as her first works were declined by agencies. This can teach us to never give up for sure 🙂

“Among many honors her writing received are a National Book Award, seven Hugo Awards, six Nebula Awards, the Howard Vursell Award of the American Academy of Arts and Letters, the PEN/Malamud Award, and the National Book Foundation Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters. In 2000, she was named a Living Legend by the Library of Congress, and in 2016 she joined the short list of authors to be published in their lifetimes by the Library of America. Three of Le Guin’s books have been finalists for the American Book Award and the Pulitzer Prize.” – from the page dedicated to Ursula Le Guin.

Planet of Exile is a short novel that is part of the Hainish Cycle. The narrative tells us about the cultures and fates of three humanoid species living on the third planet of the Gamma Draconis system. One of them is the descendants of a human expedition group from Terra (Earth) that was left on this planet and lost half of their forefathers’ heritage. Still, they preserved books, medical knowledge, and astronomical maps. They have certain abilities, which can be seen as magic, though they are often referred to in the book as something any developed race can learn. Their number is receding due to their problem with fertility caused by living under the foreign sun.

Another group, the Tevarans, are primitive nomad tribes with no clear understanding of the future or ability to plan their actions. Their lifestyle depends on the long season cycles (60 years long altogether). They are socially organized, following their family leaders, and they have customs, ethics, traditions, and beliefs. They make pacts and interact with Terran humans sometimes, but they can’t have mutual children, so they don’t recognize each other as “real humans,” and their relationships are full of tension and minor conflicts.

Everything changes when, just before another long winter, the third humanoid group, the Gaal, learns how to organize itself and attacks both of them. This causes deep cultural changes in both groups, and this event teaches them cooperation, the need for which is especially emphasized by the love line between Jacob Agat, a Terran human, and Rolery, an aboriginal girl. We also know that the planet itself causes major biological changes in humans, which makes us wonder about the limits of natural influences and how far the adaptation of our organisms can reach!

Among the strengths of the novel, I’d like to mention the mesmerizing, musical descriptions and the captivating, thrilling storyline development. The world seems so real, well-thought-out, and perfectly functioning. Ursula Le Guin put a lot of her anthropological knowledge into describing the tribal life of the Tevarans, their philosophy, and how it all arises from the nature surrounding them. This shines through the narrative, making the reader wonder and contemplate.

The author also perfectly shows how all national/racial issues can evaporate in the face of danger, how “primitive” people can teach and enrich civilized societies, and vice versa. She brings to the reader’s attention how the dynamics of cultural development depend on the climate and interaction of the groups, and that one culture may fully absorb the heritage of another only when it is ready, and forcing it into premature changes is ethically wrong. The war that the humanoids face seems very real and frightening, but so are winter and the problem of hunger. We are especially moved by the sudden, almost impossible love between two representatives of the different thinking species.

Speaking of which, at the beginning, I thought this love line to be somewhat forced by the author, but later there was an explanation of what was happening. I found this quite satisfactory. Another point which I found somewhat far-fetched was the fact that this human group changed and adapted genetically to their new host planet to such an extent that in the end they could have a possibility to have children with the aboriginal species… As far as I know, this is biologically impossible, but I guess the author wanted to emphasize the evolutionary and developmental role of the planet and nature.

All in all, it was a captivating, amazing read, very thought-provoking, engaging, and full of stunning descriptions. I really advise it to everyone who is into philosophical sci-fi, and probably to all fans of Mircea Eliade hiding out there, as I felt a lot of common notions and perhaps a slight influence of his works in this book 🙂

I’d give it 4.5 points out of 5

Thank you for reading this post, as always! 🙂

© MarvellousNightmare on Coconut Doesn’t Exist

If you are interested in my readings and sessions (see the examples here), please take a look at my offer 🙂

July 1, 2024 3

🕯️Call of Destiny: Omens And Dreams (Part Three) 〰 Fantasy Story by MarvellousNightmare 〰 Aridia Cycle📜

Part One
Part Two

DISCLAIMER: the events and the characters mentioned in this story are the product of the author’s imagination.

The heavy, inky storm clouds sprawled across the sky swiftly. There was no glimpse of rain, though the thunder rumbled on and on, promising, menacing… The stuffy air was electrified with foreboding suspense; the stillness was dense and unbearable… Until a sudden cluster of lightning shattered the sky to pieces and set the sparse rock woods ablaze. The mountains trembled in an instant, swaying, bursting, and crying in stonefalls. Their gray shapes surrounded Agenit, threatening to crumble, fall, and bury him alive.

The valleys below were damp and crimson with blood; heaps of corpses could be spotted everywhere. The moans and prayers of the dying people filled the air, imploring, cursing – nonetheless, their pleas hung unanswered.

It reminded the priest so vividly of what he had read about The World’s End Prophecy, it was uncanny. Now the Moons should fall on the earth and burst into pieces, ruining the cities, seaports, temples—all they built in their blind pride. And the Deities would step down to earth, walking among mortals, cleansing the planet of sinners and rewarding the worthy ones… Did he even believe in this nonsense from the sacred scrolls? There was no time for rumination, though.

Agenit looked everywhere, desperately searching, calling for someone, yet never finding even the slightest resemblance… His head was swirling from tension, his fists clenched, until finally he gasped in recognition. She is alive! Alive!

In this crazy, terrifying madness, when death seemed to rule the world, dead, blank eyes staring at him from every point and angle, and devastation absorbing everything around, he cared for no one but her. It was her he could never lose.

Half-blood she was, or some other kind of elven descendant. Anyone could instantly guess this just by looking at the woman’s luminous, deep, almost transparent eyes, with an electric quality in them. So humane, affectionate, and at the same time so bizarrely inhuman, they were almost the exact reflection of the sky’s insanity above them.

The sorceress stood upright, raising her hands to the sky. Her inner palms, covered with intricate tattoo patterns, shimmered mysteriously with tiny blue and silver sparks; she was evidently weaving a spell.

The woman remained on the cliff’s edge, shaking, almost embraced and destroyed by the imminent danger. She was just one tiny step away from it. Agenit’s heart scorched with pain at this sight. He knew that the impact of the spell could kill her at that moment; the air was electrified, overcharged with the storm and the energy left from the battle magic that filled the space not so long ago. The sorceress knew it too. Why did she wish to sacrifice herself like this? For what?

The man wanted to catch her in an instant, to press her tightly to his chest and never let go. He had never been the romantic type, really. He would laugh at the mere suggestion. Though, right now… He couldn’t help it.

Agenit ran to her, calling, cursing, stumbling, trying to reach his beloved so desperately… Embers from the forest fire were falling on his head, and stones almost hit him several times – just a few scratches. Still, he’d give his life to save her, to stop her from enchanting this murderous spell… The signs on her palms lit up brightly. Feeling his presence, the woman turned, looking him straight in the eye, as Agenit squeezed her at last…

The unfinished spell burst, creating multiple energy currents, igniting the air around them. The power wave threw their bodies away, smashing them against the rocks, and stones fell like rain, covering them and saving them partly from the destructive, poisonous impact. In other circumstances, it would have killed and buried their bodies, but the priest created an energy shield the moment he caught the woman.

It was almost quiet now. His beloved lay in his arms, so delicate, unmoving, so cold to the touch… Was the blow too powerful for her anyway? Or was she doomed the moment she started weaving her enchantment? He pulled her even closer in dismay, unwilling, refusing to let her die…

The man continued embracing his beloved in silence, shocked and confused, until he discerned a slight movement of her head. Agenit lit up in an instant, full of hope, however it was only a silent whisper, ‘It’s the end…’ Her voice was like the rustle of tree leaves gently touched by the wind, like the soothing song of the sea tide… Or was it all an illusion, these words? Her eyes were shut tightly, no breath was heard or felt, even though he tried desperately to catch it, and only tiny currents of blood from her temple were leaving wet stains on his hands and clothes…

‘You overslept,’ Torret reproached him dryly, shaking him energetically by the shoulder. ‘Wake up, you were chosen to be part of the embassy to Delvii during the sacred gathering an hour ago. In the name of Rogterr, I’d never give you such a responsibility! I wouldn’t trust you even with washing dishes after supper. They are crazy! Crazy! And they rely too much on astrology!’

Agenit cursed silently and opened his eyes. His dreams, foreboding and disquieting, still had a grip on him. The mesmerizing eyes of that unknown sorceress, the coldness of her skin… The man shook his head, trying to get rid of these confusing feelings while his neighbor continued his unending, maddening preaching.

Torret gestured dramatically, carried by irritation, then looked back and stopped abruptly. ‘A bad sign,’ he nodded towards the sacred lamp. ‘For fire’s sake, you can’t take care of one simple thing! Every neophyte can do it! And they chose you as the embassy member! Idiots!’

Agenit silently agreed with his friend. Maybe this is a sign that the time has come? His sacred fire went out, anyway. He’d go to the mages’ guild this evening; they must accept him. There was no time to wait. The man caught a tiny movement from the corner of his eye and turned swiftly to look at the window.

A black, four-winged bird sat on the windowsill, observing him triumphantly, with uncovered malice. As soon as it noticed the man’s attention, the creature shrieked sharply, eerily, declaring the disaster.

Agenit shuddered with unease.

© MarvellousNightmare on Coconut Doesn’t Exist

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June 27, 2024 19

Horus Rising: The Seeds of Heresy Are Sown by Dan Abnett – My Review

Hi everyone!

This weekend, I finished reading Horus Rising: The Seeds of Heresy Are Sown by Dan Abnett. It is the first book of the Horus Heresy novel series, which can be described as techno-fantasy or fantasy action genre. All these books belong to the Warhammer Universe, and they are fanfiction based on this game.

Dan Abnett is a British novel writer and comic creator. He currently works as a scenarist for Marvel and is known for Sinister Dexter, Black Light, Badlands, Atavar, Downlode Tales, Sancho Panzer, Roadkill, Death’s Head, and Wardog comics. He has published numerous novels dedicated to the Warhammer Universe, and some of which have found wide recognition among the reading audience.

Horus Rising: The Seeds of Heresy Are Sown presents the chain of events for the next parts and explains the main points of how the Imperium of Man looks, making us acquainted with the main ideology of it, its morals and belief systems, aims, and “mission” – all of these through the eyes of Captain Loken. We also get to know about the society structure, iterators (ideologist-philosophers), remembrancers (artists), and Astartes (genetically bred warrior-race) – which confirms the idea that poetry and love bloom the most where the fiercest wars take place.

We learn about materialism (on the surface) and the militarism as the main underlying currents of the Imperium. We take a look at the other species and civilizations, often presented by scenes in which Loken shares his memories about certain wars with Mersadie Oliton, a remembrancer who preserves his stories. We understand why Warmaster Horus is often referred to as a great leader, and that materialism, declared as the right path for humanity, may not really turn out all that perfect (cult, warp, chaos), and the rejection of warp power may cause bigger problems.

Captain Loken is portrayed as an honest, reliable, moral, and kind type, giving us a perspective we can trust. He is stoic and stubborn, but even he finally accepts certain views and facts. He is shown as a stereotypically “good guy,” and that creates an interesting effect: when he steps off the straight, appropriate path, we tend to accept and understand it. All his memories seem true, all his sympathies are justified in a way… But he is so annoying at the same time, exactly the way a stereotypically “good guy” may be maddening. If he would only show a glimpse of vice or weakness and be more human just for once!

However… It’s probably another irritating feature of this novel: the characters are schematic and not really deep. It all stays on the surface… Or should military men (well, Astartes) be like that? Nah, I doubt it.

Still, the book sets things in motion, it intrigues, and makes the narrative compelling – we wonder about the power of the warp, we are caught by the portrayal of the “Emperor, beloved by all” as perfect and distant, really reminding some kind of deity. It’s only natural that cults are appearing.

Despite somewhat shallow descriptions, we still are presented with inner conflict in Euphrati Keeler after encountering the warp, or in Warmaster Horus when he encounters another human civilization, “Interex,” which could potentially be equals to the Imperium. These moments truly capture our attention, and I’m grateful for them!

Yet, other cultures, civilizations, planets, and species so overly attractive and captivating, however we have just a brief overview of them. Sadly, we aren’t allowed to dive deeper into details; their descriptions only touch the surface.

On the other hand, the author managed to pack an impressive multitude of events and details into this medium-sized novel, so he clearly had no other choice but to sacrifice the depth. The language is also quite simple and dry for my taste, but I guess if you are not into immersive, intricate descriptions in general and want to read about your favorite Universe, this novel would be perfect for you.

Finally, I’ve never played the game itself. I started reading the Warhammer series on a bet with my husband, and the only thing I knew was that Warhammer encompasses most of the popular fantasy themes. I also had a friend long ago who wrote fan fiction short stories based on that Universe.

Nonetheless, after reading Horus Rising: The Seeds of Heresy Are Sown by Dan Abnett, I feel pretty much acquainted with this world and its intricacies, intrigued enough to continue reading the books of this series, and even curious enough to play Warhammer myself.

To sum up, an interesting read, especially if you are into the game or sci-fi/fantastic action genre in general. It is very structured and dense with events, though a bit shallow when it comes to descriptions.

Thank you so much for reading this post 🙂

If you are interested in my readings and sessions (see the examples here), please take a look at my offer 🙂

June 24, 2024 6

🕯️Call of Destiny: Omens And Dreams (Part Two) 〰 Fantasy Story by MarvellousNightmare 〰 Aridia Cycle📜

Part One
Part Three

DISCLAIMER: the events and the characters mentioned in this story are the product of the author’s imagination.

He observed the room again. So silent it was. His neighbor Torret, pious, honest, and well-versed man, was still absent. He would make a great high priest one day, at least Agenit would vote for him. No one can be more genuine, knowledgeable, or honorable than Torret. Definitely not him—man chuckled silently.

He took the last peek through the window, observing the chanting, swaying crowd, running kids, stumbling, laughing, crying, a somber procession moving towards the earth temple—someone’s funeral, no doubt… The distant sea waters were shimmering cold and bright, resembling a wide silver bracelet, thrown loosely at the place where the sands meet the horizon, reflecting the blinding sunrays…

A black feather slowly swirled down, as if falling from the clear, sizzling skies—straight from nowhere. Agenit blinked and headed towards his bed, falling down on the cool sheets.

His sacred lamp, composed of three divine metals, was burning steadily, placed on the bedside table among the paper rolls. They were taught that these metals represented the three kinds of fire: iron was an earthy fire, gold—a festive flame or sunray, and tin stood for a spiritual blaze. He should have cleared some space for his lamp, sure, put rolls in order, but a heavy laziness started to overcome him.

The lamp’s fire should never be put away. It was a representation of his vocation as a priest; it was a living, acting, undisturbed prayer to the Rogterr, which secured his guidance and protection. It would be extinguished only at the moment of his death… Or if he left the temple, which meant the same. The fire suddenly rose and jumped upwards.

The man laughed shortly to himself. You see? He is not made for being a priest, the divine Father knows it perfectly, sees him through in his highest wisdom.

Sure, Agenit was born under the sign of a warrior, in the month of high fires, conceived in chaos. On the day of his birth, all three Moons were aligned, forming the resemblance of a crown. Which happened quite rarely, actually. Because of this, the members of the fire order believed him to become their leader, a High Priest, and with time rule over Aridia, as part of a sacred council represented by high priests of all four elemental deities.

In truth, he was quite gifted, but had a completely wrong personality for becoming a priest—too exuberant, too brave, too independent. He wanted to fight in battles, build his own home, probably have a wife one day, if she won’t interfere much. Adventures! This word made his heart beat faster.

He’d travel this world all over. He would see all lands and their curiosities. He would never rest until his inner fire would be extinguished and his body would be but an empty cocoon, incinerated to ashes.

The fragrance of flowers in bloom, heavy and oppressing in such weather, made his head go round. Agenit loved the heat but was too dizzy already to adjust his body to it, so it started to overwhelm him. He’d go to the seashore and swim as far as he could see in the warm, clear waters. Later, he would dive deep and lie still in the depths, watching the sun mysteriously glow through the water layers, its light interrupted only by the motley schools of small fish. Ah, the refreshing coolness of sea waves. The man stretched out in his bed, dreaming.

There was another issue with this hypothetical “crown and might” notion—he was lowborn. No, his mother was a revered wise woman, and in normal circumstances, he would be respected as well, as her child, even though never taught or admitted to magic. But Agenit was a child of the war, a bastard, knowing nothing of his father, except that he was a Delvian soldier, who raped his mother. Delvian…

They called him that all his life. His very reflection told him so every morning. He inherited these sharp face features and black hair from his father, and wore it as a branded sign of shame. Not once did he wish that someone would break his nose in a fight. Shaving his head bald was another option. As a child, he often imagined dyeing his hair in the sun rays, so they lost their color; some women did that. But with time, Agenit learned to accept what he was.

Nonetheless, can you imagine a person looking like him entering the council? Walking apparition of their worst overseas enemy?

He bit his lip, still watching the dancing, restless movement of the flame. The music fell silent. Now he heard only the occasional bursts of laughter from the street, just under his window. “Neophytes having a break,” crossed his mind.

He often thought of joining the mages guild. They’ll accept him for sure with his talent and expertise. Then he’ll be under their protection and can quit the priesthood without the risk of being killed. They also had fewer oaths and rules, except for sticking for each other and taking part in increasing the overall magical knowledge. Moreover, the mages… They are way freer in their ways. He planned to join them for a long time already, he just waited for the right moment to do that… But this moment never actually came… Even now, he is putting off the final decision.

The movements of fire entranced him, lulling his mind, together with the insistent chirping and young voices coming out from the quarter’s garden. He closed his eyes, just for a moment, for a couple of minutes; he had some time before the next ceremony… Just for a minute, so that he could consider this change with a fresher mind. Maybe it’s time…

© MarvellousNightmare on Coconut Doesn’t Exist

If you are interested in my readings and sessions (see the examples here), please take a look at my offer 🙂

June 20, 2024 18

🕯️Call of Destiny: Omens And Dreams (Part One) 〰Fantasy Story by MarvellousNightmare 〰 Aridia Cycle📜

Part Two
Part Three

DISCLAIMER: the events and the characters mentioned in this story are the product of the author’s imagination.

‘It’s hot as in Rogterr’s fire palace,’ Agenit muttered wearily, lazily untying his scarlet ceremonial robe, embroidered with golden patterns and the speckles of the sun stone, and carelessly throwing it on the floor. Such a simple gesture, but it expressed all that he thought or felt about the priesthood. Dressed in simple pants and a linen shirt now, no one would ever discern him from some potter or carpenter from the town. The man wiped his forehead with a relieved sigh. He was himself at last.

The room’s air was motionless and stuffy, and the heat intensified with each second. Slanting sun rays fell through the narrow window, as if burning through the floor and the opposite wall in brilliant torrents of smoldering light.

Agenit was a gifted and skilled fire priest, so heat was but a temporary nuisance for him, as he knew how to adjust his body to high temperatures. He could absorb the blazing heat and replenish his depleted magical reserves, which he hastened to do.

The priest sat down in a pool of light, with his eyes closed, and took several deep breaths. He could shift his state of consciousness almost instantaneously, and in a few minutes, his mind became entirely entranced.

Agenit’s inner fire was burning strong. What was the outer elemental flame flame, but a reflection of his inner one? What was his inner blaze if not part of the universal one? The scorching heat grew more intense, burning and causing pain, until it ceased to exist. Now, only one fire remained, just oneness, unity, and connection. And it became expressed in blazing, dynamic, smoldering brilliance, which was engulfing his mind, and eliminating all idle thoughts, his separate sense of “Self.”

As soon as it was achieved, the energy from the larger, natural element replenished his inner reserves, cleansing, reviving, and incinerating his doubts and fatigue. And then only the loud pounds of the heart remained, and as soon as they went silent, the priest opened his eyes.

It was much better now, and after a while the man jumped to his feet. Sure thing, he was a child of fire, a son of mighty Rogterr… At least all priests of this deity called themselves so.

Nonetheless… As a human being, he appreciated the mild coolness of the wind and soothing touch of the water, their delicate, soft caresses… Sometimes, Agenit simply missed the sea, the cold, repeating rhythm of waves crashing at the shore, the thick, mysterious, dark passages of the pine wood that always gave him shelter and a place to play when he was a boy… Before they brought him to the temple and made him accept these wretched vows…

The birds’ melodic chirping and the relaxing stillness of the room suddenly became shattered, drowned in the sound of a passionate foreign song coming from the town’s central square. String music was electrified with drama and expressiveness, full of intensive and clear power. It was so distinct and overwhelming, as if it were everywhere, ubiquitous and entrancing.

The female voice seemed to reach out to him, imploring, seducing, and enchanting him to leave this life behind to follow this mysterious temptress from overseas wherever she might go.

Awe-stricken, the hypnotized man looked out of the window.

He could observe from afar the crowd gathering around the musicians, swaying, gazing, mesmerized, bound to every word, every sound of this pure sorcery… And he found himself as if anchored by the window, looking, hoping, longing… Until the sudden silence filled the space again.

The crowd cheered, clapping. The whole commotion was so contrastingly unrhyming, rude… even primitive in comparison to the melodic wonder he experienced a second ago, that he felt deceived and all at once irritated.

‘Don’t they have any other work to do?’ the man winced, slightly envious.

Anyway, this musical magic disrupted the natural rhythm of his day. Agenit shook his head, trying to concentrate on his thoughts.

Even from a distance, he could discern the figure of the singer: a slender woman with darker complexion, her long dark hair flapping against the wind. She resembled a vivid, colorful tropical bird, strayed away from the forest by some awful mistake and now cornered by a gaping, cheering, dancing crowd, as if caught in a vibrant net…

What wouldn’t he give to stroll among them in broad daylight, to be free, released from the solemn walls of the sacred temple, unrestrained by the dogmas and oaths? To escape the pretenses and make-beliefs of the priesthood, which always lost their power as quickly as no one seemed to be watching. Lies charged with idle glances and contemptuous talks.

At least, why should he pretend? Agenit often ran away disguised at night, when all other priests seemed firmly asleep in their beds. He climbed down the quarters’ wall, then usually jumped over the fence – thin, delicately wrought, interlaced with golden ivy that burned like hell when touched with bare skin…

Come on! Could this southern stinging plant prevent him from escaping? It only scared nine-year-old neophytes just accepted into the temple, still believing, full of shock and wonder.

Later on, the man normally hastened down the crowded streets, drinking the finest wines, savoring delicious food in the company of music and laughter in some shady corner taverns. And he enjoyed life there until soft haziness overcame him.

In addition, he always found reason to fight with a drunken opponent, victoriously showing off his sword skills and magical excellence. The round of applause and shiny female glances were fitting rewards in dangerous endeavors. And then… The pale moons, glistening stars, and whispering sea waves kept their secrets well.

In short, Agenit had blazing, scorching blood in his veins; the flames of passion surged through his soul, making it simply impossible for him to be pacified, restrained, and confined within the paper-rolls of sacred texts and dusty temple walls. He wanted, craved, and was obsessed with freedom. A true child of fire was he…

〰〰〰〰〰〰

Ok, I did it! This story is based on my novel, which currently exists in my head only 😀

I decided to give it a try; otherwise, I guess I’ll never write it. Let me know what you think, and whether it is better with pictures (all generated by me in WP AI Picture generator) or without.

Thanks for reading and enjoy! 💜

If you are interested in my readings and sessions (see the examples here), please take a look at my offer 🙂

June 13, 2024 31

Shadow Path (part 4)

Parts:
1st part;
2nd part;
3d part;
4th part;
5th part

Finally, she was in bed, her sweet bay of calmness and safe abode for her body when her soul was lost in other worlds. Ani simultaneously felt a relaxing warmth and intense exultation – now it would happen, she would finally find a way to infinity, now, she had an opportunity to join it. She took the pills…then she waited for half an hour, but still she wasn’t sleeping. ‘How long should I wait for it to come?’ The pillow was utterly uncomfortable, so Ani tossed and turned in her bed, twisting and rolling her pillow in countless ways she could stack under her head, covering and uncovering herself with the blanket, feeling either too cold or too warm, until finally the girl simply threw both the blanket and the pillow away, laying on her back and looking at the ceiling.

After some time the thought struck her: ‘I need more’. So Ani took more, and after the following hours of irritating insomnia, she started taking handful after handful of pills. This time, the girl swallowed medicine with wine, drinking more and more of it, until she finally felt at ease and relaxed. The world was swirling, everything was swaying, changing in its liquid, unstable forms – somewhat like Dali’s aesthetics. She felt a great pressure on her body, as if being under many gallons of water. The girl wouldn’t move at this moment, she simply transformed, twisted and shifted her form a uncountable number of times…and dissolved…

Ani appeared in the empty dark room with the windows facing the forest. It was night, and the enormous full moon had risen above, lighting this place poorly. When the girl’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, she saw that the walls of the building were crumbling and decrepit. Ani felt with all her soul that she was utterly, absolutely alone in this place, with no living soul around. She felt an eerie, maddening terror. And then she understood that it had been a dream. In the corner, she saw the trembling shade – rising, growing, shrinking, then disappearing completely and later reappearing again. No doubt it was the path. She got on it, went and ran, while the surroundings, places and sceneries were changing, shifting, dancing in a fluid motion, spinning and whirling around her.

Continue reading →

April 3, 2023 4

Shadow Path (part 3)

Parts:
1st part;
2nd part;
3d part;
4th part;
5th part

Ani turned off her laptop and took her phone. It was already evening, and she was afraid of running into Leo on her way. The girl looked around, and listened carefully. She couldn’t hear her brother; he probably was in his room, definitely not outside, because she didn’t hear the slam of the door. Ani approached it and listened: still, there was no evidence of sound. She held her breath and glided silently into the hall, carefully and soundlessly putting on her coat and her shoes, and sneaked past the door…

Continue reading →

February 18, 2023 4

Shadow Path (part 2)

Parts:
1st part;
2nd part;
3d part;
4th part;
5th part

Ani had a lot of energy because of the long rest she had taken, and she didn’t want to sit still in one place. Once again, she crossed the room several times, looking out of the windows, or staring at random things on her way, she leafed through a book, then looked inside a cup, took her smartphone and found that the battery was dead as usual… She threw it on the sofa without looking. Nothing of importance. After a second of silent reflection, she started searching on the shelves randomly, chaotically, looking for her pills. Nothing. ‘What does Leo think he’s doing? I can call the doctor on my own without a glimpse of hesitation and complain, and claim he’s lying, he can’t threaten me! Manipulator! It is all his fault anyways.’ The girl rummaged further angrily through the shelves, then pulled out the drawers sharply to check what was inside. She also examined the desk, the tops of the bookcase and the dresser, until eventually she stumbled upon the notepad with an intricate cover and wondered what it could possibly be. Finally, assuming that it was her brother’s, she opened it, out of spite, smiling vindictively. ‘I’ll show you’…

Continue reading →

November 1, 2022 8

September reading (five books monthly)

Autumn is a time to study, to slow down, to reflect on something, to cough loudly, to embrace the sadness and the beauty of the season, to listen to the wail of the windy, mesmerizing patter of rain and… To read 🙂 By the way, I personally was spending last week just as descibed. I also wrapped myself in blanket, hugged my cat and lit the candles 😀 Also there was a great reading “revolution” in my life… But you will find the details at the end of this post.
I also decided to write a little bit on several books, because my first review written in this blog was somewhat looong and complicated. I like complicated things 😉 But no one except me does 😀

“Powrót z Gwiazd” – Stanisław Lem // Return from the Stars by Stanisław Lem

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October 8, 2021 0